


Stargoat

by Loubhin



Category: Stargate - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loubhin/pseuds/Loubhin
Summary: Little scenes starring the goat behind it all. (Inspired by a Tumblr post in which I learned that the Å in the Stargate logo would actually make the word sound like Stargoat. If I find that post again, I'll link it here.)
Kudos: 6





	1. One

“I—I swear, it was giant, and blue, and—and _glowing!_ ” Rodney McKay gestured wildly with his hands as he paced around the gate room.

Ronon raise an eyebrow. “It’s a goat.”

“Well I _know_ it’s a goat,” Rodney snapped. “It’s just that it was, you know, more—more alien?”

“It’s just a regular goat, Rodney,” Teyla said, shaking her head. And indeed it _was_ just a normal-looking goat, standing in the gate room, harassing John with repeated attempts to get into his pockets in search of a snack. On the smallish side, with grey and white wool, two stubby little horns, and a bleat that was kind of endearing.

“What I want to know is why you thought bringing it home was a good idea,” John muttered, swatting the goat away from his stash of C4. “Can we get someone in here to, I don’t know, tie it up?”

“I’m telling you, that is _not_ a normal goat,” Rodney insisted. He reached suddenly for the back of his vest, all awkward elbows in the air as he turned his back to his teammates. “Look, there’s probably teeth marks where it _grabbed me_ to drag me through the gate!”

“You _fell_ through the gate, we all saw you,” John said tersely. “And brought dinner with you, so thanks for that.”

“You can’t _eat_ it!” Rodney’s voice carried his particular brand of anxious outrage. “That goat saved me from the Wraith!”

All eyes turned to the goat. The goat wandered over to Teyla to nibble at _her_ pockets instead, and Teyla smiled, scratched its ears.

“Okay, Rodney,” Elizabeth said, finally breaking into the absurd scene in front of her. “I think you need to get some rest. Teyla, I’ll let you figure out what to do with the goat.”

“I may take it to my people, if you have no objection,” Teyla suggested. “It would be well cared for, so Rodney doesn’t have to worry about its safety.”

“But I—I know what I saw,” Rodney protested again, more weakly.

John shook his head and ushered Rodney from the gate room. “Let’s get you put to bed, before you start hallucinating about the birds.”


	2. Two

“Is anyone going to explain the goat?” Jack O’Neill gestured to the little black pygmy goat that had taken up residence at General Hammond’s side.

A round of shrugs and mumbled “I don’t know”s made their way around the conference table.

“We’re not actually sure how it got here,” Daniel admitted. He ran a hand through his hair, which was even more disheveled than usual in the wake of the goat’s appearance. “It just sort of. . . showed up in my office last night.”

“Exactly ten minutes after an unscheduled off-world activation,” Sam chimed in.

“Yeah, but nothing got through,” Jack said.

“Nothing that we know of,” Daniel returned with a shrug.

Jack stared at him. “You’re not seriously suggesting that a _goat_ somehow activated the stargate, walked right through our iris completely unseen, and made itself at home without any of us being the wiser?”

“Well, we know it didn’t come in through the front door,” Daniel shot back. “Believe me, we checked.”

“Are we sure this is a normal goat?” It was General Hammond who spoke now, regarding the goat with some serious side-eye. “We have had strange encounters before.”

“As far as we can tell, yes,” Sam answered. “But we should bring in a veterinary specialist to be sure. Our doctors aren’t exactly familiar with goat physiology.”

The goat took this moment to bleat plaintively, after which it turned to nibble on Hammond’s sleeve. This was not the first time it had done this. Neither would it be the last. Hammond just sighed and let it happen. “The question is, until then, what are we going to do with it?” he asked wearily.

“Well, it doesn’t seem to want to cause any harm,” Daniel said thoughtfully, “except to your shirt, that is, but to my understanding that’s just how goats are.”

“Why don’t we keep it?” Jack asked, leaning back in his chair.

“Keep it?” Hammond echoed, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, why not? It’s kinda cute. It can be a mascot, raise morale.”

There was a moment of silence, in which everyone else looked around the table at each other, skeptical. The goat bleated again. Jack smiled. “Let’s call it Buddy.” 


End file.
